my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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