Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
