You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You were trust falling into bushes
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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