Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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