I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
