(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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