Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
