They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
