I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
