your room smells of hookers.
And success
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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