U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
never play flip cup with pint glasses
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
