nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
