He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
