I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
