i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
