Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
