Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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