Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
