got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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