Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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