I want to make a zoo with you.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
