We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
