Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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