He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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