I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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