you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
