Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
