i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I have already put on my inside pants.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
