I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
