We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
