Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i came on her dog
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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