just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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