If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
