I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
