Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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