people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
this will be a night to untag.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
