Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
