I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
