the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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