i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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