Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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