I love black thongs
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
