I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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