i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
