Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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