your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
