Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
