it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
be right there i have to get my cape
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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