beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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