so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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