Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
